


nothing compares to you

by adriana_drschka



Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Gay Relationship, Closeted Character, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:45:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adriana_drschka/pseuds/adriana_drschka
Summary: Trevor has reached a tough point in his life and doesn't know where to turn to anymore. Maybe ending it would be the right thing to do...





	nothing compares to you

Michael furiously handled his steering wheel, pressing his foot down on the gas pedal. He took a sudden left turn and tried his best to hurry up to get to his destination, the maze bank building downtown. Only feet away from the building he stepped out of the car and saw the whole building surrounded by cops and firefighters and on the roof he saw, who he was expecting to see, Trevor. Michael just saw it on the news, that was the only time he was lucky to be an old asshole, sitting on his ass and watching TV the whole time. He ran past the emergency services and busted through the front door and into the elevator, begging it would take him to the top level in time. Arriving at the top level, he looked around, desperately searching for the fire ladder leading up to the roof. When he finally found it, he feared it might had been too late, but to his pleasant surprise Trevor was still standing there, contemplating whether to jump or not. It broke Michael’s heart to see his best friend thinking about ending his more than miserable existence once and for all. 

He planned to sneak up on him and pull him back from the ledge, but he couldn’t, because Trevor had spotted him, “One more fucking step and I’ll jump, you asshole.”

A tear rolled down Michael’s cheek as he heard the other man angrily yell these words at him. A helicopter was approaching the building, headlights focussing on the man, who was about to jump.

“Trevor please don’t. Let’s talk, I can help you, I can listen. You don’t need to do this.” Michael screamed. 

The other man finally turned his head to face Michael, “You didn’t bother ‘listening’ for the past ten years, in fact you didn’t even bother to fucking check up on me. You are a fucked up excuse for a best friend, Michael Townley. It would make your life easier if I were gone, you probably wouldn’t even give a flying fuck!” 

No signs of Trevor's usual sarcasm and satire were showing, he appeared to be dead serious.

“Hey, I’m fucking here now, aren’t I?-” Michael was cut off, “Why are you even here? To watch me die in real life? Because that would be oh so fucking typical of you Michael. I wish I had never fucking met you. You left me empty...” Michael could hear his heart break in his chest, Trevor’s lips just released the most painful words anyone could have ever said to him. Trevor's words had a strange power over Michael. Trevor knew Michael's weak spots better than anyone else ever had. 

He slowly stepped closer, hoping Philips wouldn’t notice, but as he came closer, Trevor made a step towards the ledge. More tears filled up Michael’s eyes as he already had the image of Trevor falling in his head. 

“No, T. I fucking beg you, don’t do it. I know you ain’t owe me nothing, but please. How could you say my life would be easier without you? Only because I lasted ten years without you? Lasting doesn’t mean enjoying, I barely made it without you and your dumb ass comments and mocking voice and your fucking laugh, gosh how I fucking missed your cynical ass laugh. Trevor, I was forced to live like this, I had a family. I already regretted it when I saw you leave. I was hurting too and I know it probably can’t be compared to the pain you felt, but I feel like you should know how it really felt to backstab and leave you like I did. ” 

Silence struck the air. It seemed like the sirens and the people screaming down on the street were just fading away into the Los Santos night air. Both of them were completely tongue tied. 

“Trevor, I don’t know how to put this, but if you were gone for good, I wouldn’t wanna fucking live in this cruel ass world anymore. Trevor, you are all I have, you are all I ever had and all I have, everyone left my side at some point, even my family, that I was trying so hard to protect, but you were always there, even if I pissed you off, because you’re loyal and you valued me. T, you are the one person I need the most, fuck Amanda, I really fucking need you.” 

 

It was extremely difficult for Michael to spill his guts out to Trevor like that, considering his usually so narcissistic, self-benefiting and generally almost unlikeable behaviour was hard to change, but even though he could have never admitted it, for Trevor he would've stepped out of his comfort zone to change his habits anytime. Now the other man was starting to show signs of crying too. A lonely tear made its way down his warm cheek as he slowly stepped back from the more than 400 feet drop in front of him. Michael used the opportunity and quickly ran over to him, pulling him back. He wrapped his arms around Trevor, happier than ever to hold him close. Slowly the cop cars and choppers started disappearing, as they saw he was safe. Trevor placed his head on Michael’s shoulder, letting more tears run down his face and then Michael’s leather jacket. 

“Let’s go home, T. It’s been a rough day, huh?” Placing his arms around his shoulder, Michaell led the both of them down to his car.

The ride to Michael’s place was quiet and filled with a strange atmosphere. Finally arriving at the mansion, Michael and Trevor went into the house. “Why don’t you lay down, I’ll bring you some drinks, then you can sleep easier, looks like you desperately need the rest.” Trevor was unusually quiet and gave Michael the nonverbal response of nodding as he walked up the stairs, looking drained. Soon Michael opened the door to his room, only to see Trevor lying there, staring up at the ceiling in what seemed like inner agony. His hazel eyes red, wet and swollen.  
“Here, I brought you some booze.” Michael said, as he placed the whiskey glass on the bedside table. 

He didn’t want to address the fact, that Trevor had obviously been crying. 

“Look, it’s fine if you don’t wanna talk about it. I understand, but I feel like there’s still some unsaid things, that need to be let out. Get some rest and we’ll talk tomorrow.” 

Trevor didn’t show any reaction to the words coming out of Michael’s mouth. Michael sighed and was about to walk out the door, but then Trevor finally made a noise, “M, wait.” he hesitated “Did you mean all these words you said out there?”

Michael sat down on the bed and looked at Trevor, absolutely flabbergasted; “Of course I fucking did, why are you still doubting me like that?” 

Trevor sat up and went back to his usual psychotic and frankly intimidating facial expression. 

"Oh sorry, that you stabbed me in the back and used my trust for your own good. Sorry that you broke my trust and my heart, sorry that you broke me, Townley.” Trevor spat harshly. 

“T, I told you all about that back at the maze bank. Yes I used your trust and yes I treated you like shit, but seeing you up there like that, made me realize how important you are to me and in moments like that I could never ever lie to you again. What were you fucking thinking anyway? You didn’t even say anything to me, not a word, I could’ve also found you dead on the fucking pavement the next morning, T.”

“Look, I feel useless, you have a family and without you it’s pretty fucking lonely in this world, to be frank with you, asshole. You fucking broke me when you left, I’ve never been the same since then, you know that? It wasn’t really too much or anything like that, I just felt irrelevant, like who the fuck needs me anyways?” 

“I fucking need you, you dick. When will you realize and just believe me? Look, I’ve been feeling similar to you, I’ve been feeling empty since I left you too. And I know how wrong it was, I really do. And honestly if you want an answer as to why I did all that, to be fucking honest I ain’t got a clue. Amanda convinced me to ditch you and I really regret it so fucking much, but T, we’re here now, I’m here now and that will never change, from now on I’ll always be with you and I know I should’ve been with you ages ago, but I truly didn’t know what I was losing when I lost you, T. But please, don’t leave me, I need you right fucking here with me. I’m sorry for fucking everything I’ve done, alright? I wish I could make up for all my mistakes, but I really don’t know how.”   
The younger man looked at the older one in complete confusion about what he had just said. 

After two minutes of complete silence Michel wanted to stand up to escape the awkwardness, but to his surprise he was pulled back down to the bed. 

Desperate sounding words slipped from the other man’s lips, “Hey, please stay. I really fucking don’t wanna be alone right now.” 

Michael, who had his face turned away from Trevor, smiled. It felt shockingly good to hear, that Trevor needed him. It soothed his ego. Michael let himself down next to his best friend, opening his arms to engage in a warm hug. The other one immediately accepted the invitation and took Michael to his warming embrace, letting himself go in the older man’s arms. It felt natural to both of them to embrace the other like that, in fact it felt natural for them to be this close. Trevor inhaled the pleasant scent on Michael’s shirt collar, a mix of gin, a little bit of sweat and really good perfume. 

Michael’s arms tightened around Trevor and quietly he whispered something in Trevor’s ear, “I think I know how to make up for at least part of what I’ve done.” 

He pushed Trevor into the sheets softly. And either Trevor was too shocked to process what was happening, or he really let it happen. Both of them had thought about scenarios like this, but of course only as a fantasy and nothing that could just happen in real life. 

Trevor tried to keep his guard up by saying, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

Michael quickly managed to shush him by placing his lips on his neck and softly kissing upwards to his mouth. The younger man started panting underneath Michael, because he was actually nervous. He thought he had been through everything, seen everything, from people getting tortured to his loved ones being killed, but never has he seen a different side of beauty and divinity like this. Michael stopped and looked his partner straight in the eye, before finally making the move and crashing his lips into Trevor’s. All the sadness and grief seemed forgotten. Trevor didn’t nearly taste as disgusting as Michael had anticipated, actually there was something addictive about his taste. He tasted like cigarettes and to his surprise mints. Passionately they let their lips push against each other repeatedly. Their breathing became in sync and rougher. Trevor’s tongue slipped past Michael’s lips into his wet mouth hole, exploring every little corner of it. Michael was on top of Trevor completely at this point, letting his hands run up and down Trevor’s torso. Michael let his lips wander down to his neck again, starting to tenderly suck on it, creating more and more marks. Trevor ran his hands through the black fluffy hair of his best friend, while he let his tongue dance on his neck in circles, gently, almost apologetically.

“Damn, this suicide thing really gave you the rest, huh?” Trevor spat out followed by a breathy moan.

Michael stopped and looked up at Trevor, “You have no clue for how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

“Why did it take you so long?” he whispered in return.   
Trevor's response was unexpected. Instead of the harsh response he had anticipated, he got a kind of admonishing response, with a slight undertone of demand. Was this something Trevor has wanted as bad as Michael? Michael eventually managed to respond.

“Because I didn’t want to fuck things up even more between us, but it just seemed like the right thing to do right now. I’m sorry I kept this a secret like that.”

Although Trevor wasn’t a fan of secrets, this one more to his liking. Michael kissed Trevor’s lips again, before hastily unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off of him. Trevor’s hard dick was already pushing up against Michael’s thigh and when he finally took of Trevor’s pants it twitched with precum dripping down from it. Michael touched it at the top, circulating his finger around its tip, making it twitch again. Trevor let out a soft moan, softer than anything ever coming out of his mouth. Michael continued to stroke Trevor’s eager cock, while his other hand now slid down to his ass. He seductively licked his finger, circling his tongue around it like a lollipop and then continued to slowly push it inside of Trevor, making his eyes widen and his jaw drop. As soon as Michael felt Trevor relaxing around him, he pushed in the second finger. A quiet but pleased moan escaped Trevor.

Michael bent down to Trevor’s head, over his ear and whispered, “You sure you want this?” 

Trevor reached for Michael’s head and pulled him in, “Are you crazy, yes I fucking want this.” 

Encouraged by the enthusiastic response he grabbed the bottle of lube on the bedside table and spread it around Trevor’s hole. He pushed his tip up against it, making Trevor beg for it. Finally pushing it in, he let out a groan. Trevor placed his hands on Michael's waist, clawing his nails into his thick skin, leaving tiny red marks here and there. Trevor threw his head back in pleasure, which Michael used to his advantage to mark him even more. He was now his and he would make sure everybody knew and no one else would ever touch him the way he just did. Michael, slowly losing control over his body, let his trembling arms move up to the other man's head and used his fingers to tenderly pull his soft brown hair. Both of them wanted to stay in this moment forever and not ever let the other one go. It was fate. Michael's practiced thrusts became faster and rougher, making Trevor's whole body move in sync with Michael's. Loud moans from the both of them filled the room, as the heat between them got stronger. Trevor bit his lip, trying to suppress his sounds, but Michael, who found pleasure in the noises he was able to make Trevor bring out of his mouth, grabbed his chin and bent down to kiss him passionately. Nothing either of them had ever felt could compare to the love they could taste on the other one's lips. Mikey could now feel his dick inside Trevor hitting his prostate, making him scream in what almost sounded like agony. 

Michael held on to Trevor's hips as he cathartically hissed through his teeth, "Fuck, I've never fucked anyone like you." 

Trevor didn't know if he should feel honored, or jealous of all the other people Michael had fucked while they were apart.

Michael hid his sweaty head in the crook of Trevor's neck, letting his tongue draw patterns on the soft skin arbitrarily.

"I love you, T." he whispered softly, letting all his energy go and finally giving into Trevor's more than mesmerizing touch, releasing his cum inside of Trevor with one last powerful thrust, making Trevor ejaculate as well. 

He pulled out, triggering a loud noise from Trevor once again. More than satisfied with his work he watched his cum drip out of Trevor's gaping asshole. He fell down next to Trevor, placing his hand on his chest.

"What did you just say, M?"

Realizing it might have not been the right point of time to say those words, he dug his face into Trevor's skin, avoiding his hypnotizing eyes. In the heat of the moment he told his best friend he loves him. He could feel his cheeks warm up.

"I said, that I fucking love you, T." Michael mumbled into his lover's chest.

A huge smile grew on the Canadian's face. He kissed the top of Michael's head. 

"Oh sugar, LS really turned you soft, huh?" Trevor laughed.

An annoyed grunt came out of his partner's mouth. Trevor sighed and yanked Michael up softly by his full and black hair to place a tender kiss on Michael's lips. 

"I love you too." he said while staring into the blue eyes he loved so much.

Silence once again, not the uncomfortable kind, though. More like a fulfilled type of silence. 

Michael caressed Trevor's chest, which he was laying on. He let his fingers dance around on his pale, tattooed skin, slowly letting them wander off to his muscly arm. His sensitive fingers noticed some small bumps in his skin. He looked over to Trevor's arm, only to see dozens of big and small scars. 

"T, what are these from?" Michael asked, knowing damn well what they were from.

Trevor quickly turned his arm around, hoping Michael hadn't seen too much. "Nothing."

"Talk to me, Trev." Michael whispered in a consoling tone. 

"A lot happened, okay? I don't need an explanation for everything, alright?" 

"Come on, talk to me." 

Trevor's words came out sounding harsh and mean, not different than usual, but different from what they sounded like only a few minutes ago, when he confessed his love, "Times were tough. I was tired of not feeling anything. I was at a point where I would've rather felt real bad fucking physical pain, than nothing. I was numb, you made me numb. In a world where you can't feel anything anymore, the numb feeling turns into pain and from there on pain is the only thing you ever feel. I tried to get rid of the pain, that's not too fucking bad, is it?"

Michael stared at Trevor in disbelief. His fearless, tough lover didn't seem so tough anymore. Uncontrollable waves of guilt came flooding down over Michael's head. Michael picked up his arm and softly rubbed over the cuts in his skin. He started kissing his lover's cuts and so he kissed from the wrist upward. Some of the cuts were deep, almost frighteningly deep. 

"I'm so sorry, I know I can't make up for this." Michael mumbled, having his lips pressed against the thin skin on Trevor's arm. 

Trevor wanted to seem tough, even though he had already let his guard down multiple times. That was a side of him he never wanted Michael to see, the weak and vulnerable side. Trevor grabbed Michael by the jaw, kissing his soft lips once again. 

"As much as that is true, I want to forgive you. I left this behind me, Mikey."

Michael's gaze met Trevor's, "Don't you ever fucking do this to yourself ever again."

Only a few hours ago, a "yes" as a response to that demand would've been a lie, but that changed. Michael had softened his lover's hard shell with onyl his touch and his words. He was ready to let Michael in and hold him tight forever and always.

"I won't, because I really fucking do love you, believe me."

**Author's Note:**

> I am pretty new to Archive of our own, which is why I decided to start off with some classic Trikey. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! If you should notice any mistakes or critique points, please point them out to me in order for me to be able to improve my writing and my style! Love, Adriana :)


End file.
